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|Sunday, June 26th, 2005|
to deserve your love and sympathy
you were never meant to belong to me
and you may go, but I know you won't leave
too many years built into memories
your life is not your own
It's the summer and I miss Kirill, because last summer was so great. And I miss him so much it makes me cry so much and it's ridiculous and silly because he's not worth even thinking about!
And now I work so much, everyday, 4 am! ha.
Well, almost everyday. I have Monday this week.
I'm an emotional messs.
|Thursday, June 16th, 2005|
|This is nuts. I'm excited!
Name 20 People You Know
Who is #8 going out with? Haha. Engaged to a certain Ashley
Is #9 a boy or a girl? girrrl.
Would #11 and #12 date? I doubt it
How about #18 and #4? deffintaly not haha
What Grade is #17 in? college
When was the last time you talked to #12? A text message the other day. "We miss Wendy"
What is #6's favorite band? mmm shostacovich
Does #1 have any siblings? Yes, two sisters
Would you ever date #3? deffinatly.
Would you ever date #7? Mmmm once again, yes.
Is #16 single? yes
What's #15's last name? Burrows
What's #10's middle name? who knows! haha.
What's #5's favorite thing to do? Hang out with Leo and masterbate to Vins posters
Would #14 and #19 make a good couple? Haha, no
What school does #20 go to? KP yo
Have you ever had a crush on #15? yess
What's #4's favorite color? red
Would you makeout with #14? sure
Are #5 & #6 best friends? I dont believe so, we all get along though
Does #7 like #20? yes!!!
Does #8 like #19? yess
How did you meet #2? sean is a lynch. like his brothers in ECJ. thus, we met?
How did you meet #18? Biology, sophomore year
Does #10 have any pets? yeaa
Is #12 older than you? probably
Is # 17 the sexiest person alive or what? haha yeah
Would you go on a date with #16? it would be the best date I'd ever go on
|Saturday, May 28th, 2005|
|One fine day...or night
Well yesterday was excellent and I just needed to get that out! Nothing can bring me down right now, I'm freaking chipper! lol. The past few weeks have been nuts to say the least. I've done so much shit that I never thought I'd do, and I love it - I dont think that's a good thing though haha. But yesterday was a good day, minus the driving allll the way back to norfolk just to pick up my dad and then allll the way back, it was excellent. really, it was excellent. and I sped home and made it in at 11:59, perfect timing. My poor car was crying the whole way home, oooh manda, I've never gone this fast before!!!!!! haha, I love it. squirrrmmmm.
cream! I missed prom but it was worth it.
I miss my dear wendy, she's at ECJ for the weekend and it makes me sad.
I'm going to go smoke a bowl and go to work :)
|Monday, May 16th, 2005|
I'm at Becky's house.
Ever since Kirill broke up with me I've been having so much funnn!
Blazing with Becky and Matthew and JQ last Friday was awesomness.
And I have a crush on someone new!chicpcihichcihcp.
I have also managed to corrupt two of my friends into smoking marijuana. haha I know I'm such a bitch. :) I love becky.
|Wednesday, March 23rd, 2005|
|I'm going to die.
Kirill and Amanda are...no longer Kirill and Amanda. I don't know how to explain how sad I am, and I never thought I would be but I hurt so much. All I did was cry and yell last night..and today I skipped school with Wendy and we went shopping and I still cried and wanted to die. I saw Kirill's friend Jay at the mall and he is so happy and I'm so envious of him. He loves his girlfriend so much and I wish I had that kind of relationship. One day, someday - I'll get by somehow.
I slept at wendys house for a few hours today, which was good because I was a zombie. I feel like ass. And I took a bunch of codene pills last night and was tripping like woah. best god damn night sleep - I totally didn't want to wake up this morning. I bought a shirt today what says, Tina you fat lard come get some DINNER. ha. *cuts myself*
|Monday, March 21st, 2005|
|You are such a whore
I've been doing my research, and I've checked out your website, and myspace. You're hideous, and so fucked up. How does it make you feel, waking up every day and knowing that you're just a waste?
I guess I'll never know.
I like to think that I'm not that annoying little girl type, in fact, I take pride in knowing that I'm not.
Lately, everything has been driving me crazy. I'm sick of people trying to top me, make their lives seem tougher. Yeah, I know people out there have it bad, but when you live in norfolk, and mommy anddaddy give you everything, don't you dare complain. I worked my ass off this weekend, in fact, ever since I've had this f-ing job I've worked my ass off. It's not easy to work 12 hour shifts and then wake up 6 hours later to do the same thing. And it's not easy to pay for all of my own things, to know that almost every item I wear I've paid for. I'm so jealous of everyone sometimes.
I don't have much to say today I guess. Senioritis is hitting me hard, and I didn't go to school today. Surprise Surprise. My grades are so good though...for the most part. I've only gotten two B's this year..so far. this term is going to be horrible though, I haven't done any work for any classes.
I got a voicemail yesterday and it made me so happy.
I hate you :)
Chances are if you think that these comments are directed towards you, they probably are.
|Sunday, February 27th, 2005|
Well I finally got the opportunity to go into Providence with Wendy to Danny's apartment. Needless to say, it was an interesting night. Maybe I should have eaten, or not had so much to drink? Something along those lines. I had a lot of fun though, I knew it was coming when I couldn't find the foot rest on my chair with my foot...and it was only 9 o clock? haha. I remember crawling to the bathroom, comparing my boobs to wendys...and calling everyone in my phone book. Apparently I said that getting off of beds is easier when you're drunk because I can just roll off of them. Haha, and off I rolled, over and over.. I'm still sore. I was super sick and spent the night hanging over a toilet, yay for being like erin kim hahaha. sorry erin, but I hear it's true hah.
The next day I went to work 3-midnight - mannnnn
I was so sick
Mom knew what happened kinda...she's such a psycho.
I can't wait for college, end of story.
|Tuesday, January 18th, 2005|
I'm updating my journal~ ay
Tonight is fucking the coldest night ever and the furnace is broken. What the hell is that?
There's some homeless lady that sleeps outside of my dads work and I hope she doesn't die tonight because I'm giving her two winter jackets and a blanket.
I'm so lucky I don't live in the city, I wouldn't have anything because I would give it all away. I want to take her home with me
I am in love with the Maroon 5 CD, especially number 9 - Secret
It's my guilty pleasure.
I know I don't know you, but I want you so bad
Everyone has a secret, oh can they keep it, oh no they can't.
I'm driving fast now, don't think I know how to go slow
Gah. Mid terms are next week. I have a copy of the Psych mid term for anyone that needs it. I'm selling it. BAHAHA. kidding..kinda? I do need money....
hahaha Current Mood: cold
|Monday, January 17th, 2005|
But I cannot forget
Refuse to regret
So glad I met you
Take my breath away
Worth all of the pain that I have
|Wednesday, January 12th, 2005|
I gave blood last Saturday and the bruise on my arm is so grusome it made even my doctor flinch.
I have come down down with strep throat and pnemonia (sp)...It sucks, but at least I don't have to go to school? hah. like I would anyways
Mid terms are coming up, fuck
My "one year" is on Friday...
I finished watching season 4 of South Park and am very much in love, I must buy more seasons.
I woke up at like 530 this morning and took a shower and got readyh for school, puked...got into bed..slept till now. my mom isn't home, I don't know where she is..weird. and I'm hungry, with isn't weird because I'm always hungry.
|Thursday, January 6th, 2005|
No school today, which has drastically improved my mood I suppose. I like hearing the plows come down the street and put that huge ass pile of snow at the end of my driveway so I can shovel myself out later, wicked psyched about that.
Mr Sean Simmer never gave me my recommendation for COLLEGE. ugh
I haven't applied yet. Today I'm going to write my essays maybe
I have to apply state though
I do not want to go to a state school.
I know that college is what you make it, but I hate the state schools are easier to get into , and I have good grades, good enough to get into most of the colleges that I choose, I just don't have the money. Gawd, if I wasn't paying for this life would be grand. I think I'm going to go to WEstfield State...well I'm going to apply. And Mass College of Liberal Arts, in the middle of nowhere. As much as I hate to admit it, I kinda liked it up there. Aside from the fact that it seemed kinda like high school. Mr Kramer promised me that if I go there Iw ill come back a hippee. That's silly. I don't smoke, I drink!
Overall life is good. I am so busy. Working 27hour weekends rocks?
Sometimes I feel like it's not fair, not at all. And I want to be out with my friends Saturday and Sunday, and not sitting at work till midnight, but oh well. thus is life.
I am however excited that I have money now. Current Mood: okay
|Wednesday, January 5th, 2005|
Adam threatened to take me off his friends list so I must update!!
I'm just a big loser today.I lost my debate against Pete Curran on nuclear warfare because...he knows everything about it and everything I said he one uppped me. UGH.
I also lost the sppech contest. I deserve to win that.
|Wednesday, December 29th, 2004|
|I took a survey! yay
I’VE KISSED SOMEBODY...
(bold= ones I’ve done)
on the cheek
on the lips.
on their hands or fingers.
in my room.
in their room.
of the same sex.
of the opposite sex.
younger than me. - haha oh shit.
older than me.
with jet black hair.
with gray hair.
with curly hair. - I wish...haha wendy knows what I'm talkin about
with blonde hair & blue eyes.
with flaming red hair.
shorter than me
taller than me.
with a lip ring.
with a tongue ring.
who was drunk.
who was high.
who I had just met.
who was homosexual. yay jason!
who I didn't really want to kiss.
on a holiday.
on a dare.
who was going out with someone else.
who was going out with someone close to me.
who was my good friend's brother or sister.
who had been/is in jail.
in a graveyard.
in a church.
at a show/concert.
at the beach.
in a pool, jacuzzi, or some type of water.
who was legally too young/old for me to have sex with. lol
with dyed hair.
with a shaved head.
who was/is my good friend.
who was/is in a band.
who has tattoos.
who is of a completely different race than me.
in the rain.
in another continent besides where I was born.
From another continent besides where I was born
with an accent. yay!
with an std. - i sure hope not lol
on a boat.
in a car/taxi/bus
on a plane.
at the circus/carnival.
with a missing body part.
in the movies.
who I didn't know their name.
who didn't know my name. . . sometimes I wonder..haha
who was wearing pink underwear.
who was a complete asshole.
who forgot about it. oh I'm sure..that goes with the asshole one I suppose.
on a roller coaster.
when I was 10. - TEN? Sandy? Who!!? haha
in an RV
who thought I was a member of the opposite sex.
who thought I was drunk when I wasn't.
who broke my heart.
who's heart I broke.
|Monday, December 27th, 2004|
I'm so down about never doing anything with anyone, and I'm so sick of being sick and I wanted to go so badly last night. I'm fucking pissed.
I was crying most of the night because of tooth pain that will never end
and then talking on the phone but it hurt so much to talk anyways
I'm sorry for letting you and Sarah down Kelly..It's all I do lately
Sometimes I wish I had more friends that I could really count on, because for some reason I think that a lot of people I'm "friends" with would stab me in the back in a second if I did anything they didn't like. that's sad
On the up side, I'm spoiled rotten and got good xmas pressents. Not a lot by any means, but exactly what I wanted. Especially from my dear friend wendy : )
I need to go cough my lungs out.
|Tuesday, December 21st, 2004|
So much shit is going on right now. Something happened today that was so f-ing crappy and I got blamed for it and it's not even physically possible for me to have done it! I wasn't in school until 9:04.
Oh well. On the other hand, things are...shitty. hah
I worked 27hours this past weekend and I have bad teeth that are killing me. If you've ever experienced tooth pain you know what I'm talking about. and I currently have two holes in my teeth with cotton inside of them, a missing tooth (thank god it's toward the back). I also have a raspy voice because of my stupid cold. I'm so tired. I need to go to bed. Luckily this laptop won't be in my possesion anymore so maybe 'll go to bed at a decent time from now on.
I'm really excited about New Years...and that's all I can say about that.
There's a lot that I need to vent about but now isn't the time. I need to go shopping. I'm going to build Matt a bear because the other present I got him is taking me forever to complete! I love building bears. Current Mood: crappy
|Tuesday, November 16th, 2004|
|Friday, November 5th, 2004|
Well, last night was horrible to say the least. I'm so tired of everything in this house! It was such a great day till my mom came home...so great. Spending time with Wendy is so fun.
I got bitched out yesterday because I don't believe that the world is completely over. Yeah, I know, it sucks that Bush won. He is a horrible president, and has been ass raping us for four years and now will continue for another four years but...some take things to the extreme. I don't think I'm going to die before he's done, just because of him. Sorry for having a good day, asshole.
Well, thanks to Wendy and talking to a really old friend Matt, yesterday didn't completely kill me. I'm so happy that I got back in contact with Matt, he's my oldest friend. hah, the first guy I ever had a crush on the first guy...I didn't think had cooties!
hah, and influenced everything..I was afterall at a tender age.
My goosebumps!! my hair is standing up soo high lol
I have nothing to say,
|Monday, October 18th, 2004|
Feel my love inside you so bright...
Songs like this make me wonder...Do you need talent to be famous? Not so much...and the people that are talented are rarely in the spot light.
I stayed up too late last night watching the sox, but it was worth it. I'm so sleepy.
And most of all oral sex is a taboo, the wife would say, what do you think I am, a whore? I don't want to do that.
haha sorry..it's the song. It's pretty horny.
For once I really don't know what to write here...I'm going to the aqarium tommorrow. I need to go retreive all of my clothes from Kirill's house. In the time I've known him, so many of my clothes, shoes, and hair elastics have accumulated there haha. I miss my shoes..and...my shirts.
There are girls in our grade that are getting married, what's up with that? I can't imagine that a 17 year old is capable of making a decision that she has to stick with for the rest of her life.
I found out that I'm actually better at parallel parking than I thought I was today.
Nothing intelligent to say at all.
a;sfl,m laskmf a
faskfmlkams fa Current Mood: cynical
|Thursday, October 14th, 2004|
|HAppy Birthday Matt!
RIP Aunt Rita
My aunt passed away this morning, or last night I actually don't even know. My parents haven't told me a lot...I called Mr Tileston to tell him that I would be going to Boston with my parents, and he gave me bull shit about not going to rehearsal. Are you joking? If I told him my freakin mom died he would expect me there...Then I went, and he had a little chat with me to make sure he had his little ass covered by asking questions such as, "How do your parent's feel, do they know that you talked to me? You didn't tell them that I influenced you, did you?" Fuck you Mr Tileston. They already HATE you, nothing I say is going to make it worse.
Other than that I had a pleasant day...
The school nurse is like...my best friend haha. She knows who I have for english and is all sympathetic. She lets me sleep and she wakes me up when the bell rings for the next class. It's a good time.
For the first time in a while, I have all A's. Except for English because mongeon is a fruit loop
My ethics project is going to be fun, it's titled, "The Wisdom of Buddha." I got a bunch of books on Buddhism today and they're interesting already. I'll stay up all night if my mom doesn't take them away from me.
Tommorrow I'm going to the aqarium, and I'm happy about that.
What else in here...Oh yeah
Why is there so much drama within the band? WHY?
I've lost my ride to school
Jason has been so iritated with everything all week...Does anyone know what's wrong? I was supposed to be his best friend? But I don't know. I feel like shit. He hates me and yells at me for no reason, and I guess I don't need to deal with it.
I can't wait to get into bed. oh yes, sleep. I love you bed.
Goodnight, Hope you had a great bday Matt :D Current Mood: blank
|Sunday, October 10th, 2004|
What a hectic weekend. oh my god. haha
Friday night we got to Jeresy around 1230 and went to bed. I had a great room, Spaz, Ellen, Wendy, Mallory, and...ME! We all get along and there was zero drama so that was a change haha. I slept between Wendy and Mallory, and that was a treat! ; ) haha. Woke up around 6am took a shower went to breakfast, we left for Rutgers around 7. Got lost. Got there 8 something, warmed up, performed around 1030. The performance was really crappy, and I was douting us actually going to finals. We went straight to some random field and had a rehearsal, ate lunch, and went back to the stadium where they had awards. And we got into finals, and got first in our class meaning that we get pretty medals. yay. Thennn, we ate dinner and hung around the buses, took awesome pictures, I'll have jason upload them and I'll post because they're so hilarious. Then we had a long warm up and we performed again, an awesome show. I was watching the staff they all looked happy. And then we lined up for a full retreat back in the stadium. I was thinking that we would get 5th or 6th place. We only won one of the three captions, but oh my god we got first place!!!! haha Jason and I were like, NOOO we don't want to perform again. haha. but we did, and we left for home around 1am. A HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH. I was so cranky all day. jason and I had a little cat fight on the bus. oh well.I just woke up. and I'm so tired. my parents have been gone since 8this morning. I love being alone.
I smell really funky ahha so I think I need to take a shower. hopefully going to go out later.
WE WON! yayay
bands of america champs. wooo
I wish sean was there. jillian was great but we could have used a little sean too. poo. Current Mood: horny